World Penguin Day Recap

Today, April 25th, is World Penguin Day. Since they missed the playoffs, I thought it might be fun to reflect back on their most glaring issues this season. I can’t think of a better way to pay homage to our flightless birds. So, once more, for all the marbles, here’s a list of their biggest hits.

Let’s begin.

Slow starters

All year, the Penguins struggled to start periods. In most games, they came out flat, and that proved to be quite deadly. They allowed eight goals in the first minute of a period. Three of those came in overtime. In the first two minutes of a period, they allowed 16; six of those were in overtime.

No bottom six production

The Pittsburgh Penguins had a bit of a rotating cast in their bottom six. The usual suspects included the likes of Lars Eller, Jeff Carter, Valtteri Puustinen, Noel Acciari, Jansen Harkins, Radim Zohorna, Jesse Puljujärvi, Emil Bemström, and Matt Nieto. Those nine combined to play a total of 407 games. None of them, save for Lars Eller, gave the Penguins consistent production. Those nine bottom six players combined to score 46 goals. Most notably, Jansen Harkins played a whopping total of 45 games without scoring a goal. That’s… not great.

Inability to lock it down

The Penguins were the oldest team in the league for most of the season, and it showed. They were slow, they ran out of gas, and they didn’t perform well in 3-on-3 overtime. One would think, however, that their age would translate to smart play. It didn’t.

The Pittsburgh Penguins surrendered 15 goals— only three of which were empty netters— in the last minute of a period. In the last two minutes of a period, they allowed 25 goals. Only six of those were empty netters.

And, of course, there were the blown multi-goal leads. The Penguins blew thirteen multi-goal leads. Seven of those games ended in losses. Six of those losses came in regulation. Anton Chekhov once said: “Wisdom… comes not from age, but from education and learning.” Well, these Penguins had age. We can only hope that they learned something from those thirteen blown multi-goal leads, and that those collapses aren’t such a common occurrence next season.

Power play woes

I saved the best— and most destructive— for last. First and foremost, the Penguins drew a lot of penalties. They had 262 power play opportunities, which was good for the 7th most in the league. In those 262 chances, they scored 50 power play goals, which clocked in as the 5th worst. The San Jose Sharks— the worst team in the league— scored two more power play goals than a Pittsburgh Penguins team with four future Hall of Famers on the roster. The Sharks also had the least power play opportunities in the league with 208. Let that sink in.

But that’s not all. The Penguins allowed 12 shorthanded goals, which was tied with the Montreal Canadiens for the most in the league. Half of those came against non-playoff teams: the Anaheim Ducks (on a breakaway after a 5-on-3 that lasted almost two full minutes, no less), the New Jersey Devils, two by the Philadelphia Flyers, and two by the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Let’s end this article by looking back on the stretch of 13 games where the Penguins failed to convert on 37 straight power plays. Six of those 13 games were against division rivals, and four resulted in one-goal losses. The power play was what killed Pittsburgh’s season. There’s simply no way around it.

The ‘can’t make this stuff up’ division

Okay. I lied. This article has a little too much doom and gloom for my liking. I’m going to end it with more doom and gloom, but it’s going to be the kind that you just can’t help but laugh at.

First and foremost, the Penguins played 39 games against non-playoff teams. They lost 18 of them. It started right off the bat, too. The Penguins blew a two goal lead against the Chicago Blackhawks on opening night and lost in regulation. They went 1-2- against the Buffalo Sabres. They were swept in their three-game season series against the Ottawa Senators.

Pittsburgh’s total record against non-playoff teams was 21-13-5. At first glance, this doesn’t seem atrocious. But when you consider that they missed the playoffs by three points… well, those are games they clearly couldn’t afford to have lost.

And, speaking of records that haunted the Penguins: they went 13-8-5 against division opponents. Even in a division where 91 points secured the final wild card spot, that just wasn’t good enough to make the playoffs.

Let’s end this recap by thinking back on the most memorable goal in recent Penguins history. No, not the goalie-goal. This one came in Mullet Arena against the Arizona Coyotes. The Penguins, who had been chasing all game, were about to go on the power play down 3-2. On the delayed penalty, Letang circled back into the Penguins’ zone. He was pressured by Clayton Keller, and backhanded the puck to Malkin. It was too much for Malkin to handle, and the puck rolled back into the vacant net for an own goal.

That own goal pretty much summed up the 2023-24 season for the Pittsburgh Penguins. They could never keep it simple.