How Hockey Saved Me, And Many Others

I get strange looks from people when I tell them that, even thought I’ve never played, hockey was my first love. I can’t ice skate, and the closest I’ve ever come to lacing ‘em up was floor hockey back in high school gym class. 

But how can I not love the thing that threw me a lifeline when I was at my lowest?

It was a Thursday night in February of 2021. I was a month into my first semester of college. This was still during the height of the covid pandemic, and while quarantining wasn’t heavily enforced, I didn’t have any reason to leave my dorm. I kept to myself, I stayed inside, and I did my schoolwork. It was boring, and for me, Atlanta was very, very lonely.

But I did have one saving grace: hockey had started back up.

Up until that point, I had liked watching hockey. It was my favorite sport, but that wasn’t saying much. The Penguins were my favorite team, and I watched them as much as I could, but it wasn’t necessarily a priority.

But during that spring semester, when I had nothing else going for me… hockey became the most important thing in my life.

It didn’t matter how hard my classes were. I would be done all of my work before 7 PM EST every day. Some people went on dates; I had a date with my laptop and my ESPN+ subscription. Even when the Penguins weren’t playing, I would watch hockey.

But on this particular Thursday, it just wasn’t enough— and that’s saying something, because the game had a satisfying conclusion. Evgeni Malkin had tied it up with only 18 seconds left, and Sidney Crosby lifted the Penguins to a victory in the shootout. 

I was happy, and I was entertained. But deep in my soul, I just felt lost. The happiness was surface level. I felt empty, and not even a good hockey game was enough to perk me up. Sure, I loved watching hockey. But at the end of the day, I didn’t have a sense of direction, and all of my friends were busy back home in Philadelphia. 

So, I went on Twitter. Back then, I didn’t have much of a social media presence. But sometimes, after games, I would scroll mindlessly to see other Pittsburgh fans’ reactions. I needed that sense of community, even if it was shallow.

I love to connect with people. It’s just who I am. And when that connection can be strengthened by a shared interest— hockey, in this case— well, that’s even better.

It might sound dumb, but hockey saved me. More than that, the community saved me. 

Drake, a Stars fan living in Toledo, found his love of hockey through his grandparents. “My grandpa and grandma lived down in Dallas, Texas. For Christmas, they would always get me Stars t-shirts and hats. Then Tyler Seguin was traded from the Bruins to the Stars, and I really liked him from his rookie year, and that’s how I became a Stars fan.”

For Drake, talking about his favorite sport was an escape from the stress of classes and homework. “[Talking about hockey] is like my happy space. It really helped me through my college years. I just graduated, and it was a nice step away from all that. It gave me peace of mind.”

Drake says that Twitter has been a great way to connect with other hockey fans. “Twitter’s been a big thing for the hockey community. On Instagram and Facebook, you don’t really see that kind of hockey togetherness. On Twitter, it feels like you can just reach out to anybody and just talk hockey.”

Drake has found solace in the friends he’s made online. “I’m in a group chat with a bunch of other Stars fans on Twitter. It’s been going on for about a year now. Even if we’re not talking about the game, we just talk about life in general. We’re pretty open and honest with each other. If someone is having a bad day, we’re there to help each other out. It’s actually helped me out a lot with my mental health, because some of them are in their 30’s and 40’s, and they’ve been through the life experiences that I’m going through.”

Even when their conversations are surface level, Drake says that just discussing the sport with his friends is a welcome distraction. “Talking about hockey just makes everything so much better.”

On the East Coast, Emily is a Penguins fan— and a PWHL fan— living in New York City, and she’s been introducing her friends to her favorite sport. “I’ve found that something that gives me joy is just being able to share it with people. I’m a season ticket holder with PWHL New York, and I’ve been bringing my friends, and they’ve been loving hockey. And then I tell them, hey, I also love this flightless bird team, the Penguins.”

Even though she’s been introducing some of her friends to hockey, Twitter is still a way that Emily finds the community she craves. “I love that [during games] I can see what all the people I’m following are saying about what’s going on. We can commiserate together, and we can celebrate together.”

Twitter has helped Emily connect with individuals that share her interests, and she says that, on a deeper level, it has been great for her mental health. “I don’t have a lot of friends that enjoy hockey in my day-to-day life. But I always know that on a random Tuesday or Wednesday, when the Penguins are playing, I can always check my DMs, check my notifications, and I can see that people are enjoying the same team that I am. I don’t really get that with people where I live, because I live in New York City. Despite it being the largest city in the United States, it can be incredibly lonely. It can be isolating. And it’s so nice to have sports friends online, especially when I don’t have many of those in my face-to-face, in-person life.”

Hannah, another Penguins fan that lives in New York City, loves connecting with people at her favorite hockey bar called The Canuck. “It’s not really different from any other pub atmosphere, but because you go in there to watch a game, and knowing everyone else is there to watch the game… it’s like, half of these people are with me, and half of these people are against me, but I still have something to talk about with everybody in the room… it’s that kind of atmosphere that makes it so easy to talk to people. You don’t have to figure out what to talk about, it’s right there on the TV! It’s right there on his shirt, or her shirt! There’s always something to talk about. It’s hockey, but once you start talking about hockey, then you branch into other things, and that’s how you make friends. But it starts with that first common denominator, and [The Canuck] is a nice place to give you that.”

Watching hockey is one of Hannah’s favorite distractions from life’s problems. “When I have bad mental health days, usually the best thing I can do for myself is distract myself in any possible way. Sometimes I read a book or watch a movie, but fortunately, hockey is played very frequently. So if I come home and I’m stressed out from the day, and I can’t focus on anything, I just think, okay, well, the Penguins are playing at 7 PM. Like, sometimes I get home from work, and I can’t breathe, or I can’t calm down, but if I turn my TV on and watch this game where I really care about the outcome, it takes me out of my on head.”

Brendan, a Penguins fan that lives near Washington, D.C., says that watching hockey is one of his favorite pastimes, and that it distracts him from worrying about personal issues. “Even if [the game] is stressful…. it’s not as up close and personal as your job or anything like that… even if it’s the worst game you’ve ever seen, it’s like you’re kind of pulled out of whatever you’re dealing with outside of that.”

Brendan’s passion for the game transcends rivalries— living near D.C., most of his friends are Washington Capitals fans, but that doesn’t matter to him. In fact, he keeps up with the Capitals and their players so that he can contribute to their conversations. “Right now, I know that my buddies are paying attention to UFAs that the Caps have, how much cap space they have, and who they should or shouldn’t sign. So I’m paying attention to that too.”

Gabby, a Kraken fan from Seattle, has found an online community through Twitter. “For the first couple seasons, I just didn’t really know a ton of people online from the Kraken community. Now, I can’t even count how many friends I’ve made. Some of them I’ve even met in person— we’ve gone to games together, team practices together. Some of them are across the country, or even in different countries, and just being able to connect over our shared love for the Kraken and just hockey in general has been super cool. They’re actual friends, even if I haven’t met them.”

Gabby also plays hockey, and is a goalie in a local women’s league. “I absolutely love my team. The first season was kind of rough, win-wise, but the camaraderie was amazing. We just like spending time with each other. There was one time where the games actually got cancelled at the last minute because of some ice quality issues, and we just all hung out for awhile at the restaurant-bar upstairs.”

Gabby’s friends that she’s made through Twitter have even gone to watch her play. “It’s really cool, I’ve had a couple of my friends that I’ve met through Twitter come and watch my games, because a lot of them are actually at the Kraken’s practice rink. That was really special for me.”

Gabby and her team are very close. “We just get along so well. I feel like having those people, where you’re there for them and they’re there for you, to joke around with and commiserate with… it goes way beyond the winning. It’s like, these people are all my family, and I would fight for them.”

For Jason, a Blues fan from St. Louis, playing hockey is more than just a way to let off steam. He and his teams are like family. “At first, we were terrible, but it was still fun because of that group. We would stay in the parking lot for hours after the games, talking, having a drink. Sometimes we’d stay out until 3 or 4 AM.”

In the summer of 2017, tragedy struck. A member passed away, and Jason’s group flew into action to rally around surviving family members. In less than two months, they organized a charity event. “We took over the rink from Friday night until Sunday and ran tournament games the entire time. We sold food and beverages, and held charity auctions and raffles in the rink. The entire event was staffed with volunteers from the group, their families, and friends.” They raised thousands of dollars.

In 2021, tragedy struck again, and a member of their group was diagnosed with cancer, and needed surgery. Once again, Jason’s group answered the call to action and took it upon themselves to host another charity event. And once again, they raised thousands of dollars.

Like many others, I drew comfort from hockey, and the community I found in it. For a long time, I was ashamed of thatqa. I felt like I had to hide this part of myself. Even now, it’s hard for me to talk about, but I push myself to be open about it whenever I can. There’s a stigma surrounding mental health, and talking helps break that stigma. 

Finding out that I’m not the only one that has found community through hockey— both online and in person— has been a pleasant surprise.

Earlier today, the Malone Family Foundation hosted their second annual Black & Gold Breaking the Mold event. There was a pregame with food trucks and a DJ. The Malone Family Foundation sold t-shirts, hats, and hoodies. Groups like NAMI— National Alliance on Mental Illness— were invited by the Malone Family Foundation to provide mental health resources. NAMI runs a class called Homefront, that is for the families of veterans and active military members. Homefront helps them develop communication and coping skills, and touches on how military education and conditioning translates— or doesn’t— to civilian world, and how that effects their relationships with other people. It helps loved ones support their veteran or service member in their journey to mental health.

Later, there was a hockey game held at RMU Island Sports Complex. The participants were current and former NHL players, local celebrities, and members of Pittsburgh’s Veteran and First Responder communities. The puck dropped at 7:19, the ‘away’ team won with a final score of 9-6, and Brett Keisel dropped the gloves. But none of that mattered. Not really. What really mattered was the cause.

Founded by NHL alumni Ryan “Bugsy” Malone, the Malone Family Foundation’s mission is to catalyze healing and personal growth through hockey. They are working towards making hockey financially accessible to everyone who wants to play. They provide support to veterans, first responders and their families, and active military members. They promote wellness through education and activities that focus on nutrition, mental health, and the power of an active mind, body & spirit.

There’s an auction that runs through June 2nd. You can bid on experiences, signed jerseys, and more, by clicking this link here.